I Love You Eddie

I arrived in Boston yesterday evening around 5:00pm EST, met up with my cousin at the airport, and headed straight to Massachusetts General Hospital.

Earlier in the day, around 8:00am, I awoke to a phone call from my oldest brother Danny. With a slight tremble in his voice and occassional sniffs he told me the doctors’ latest diagnosis on Eddie, “these are his last few days.” My immediate reaction was of shock and all I knew was that I needed to be out there with Eddie. So I called my cousin who works for the airline and received a stand by ticket for the next ticket out of Chicago to Boston soon after.

After speaking with my cousin, I called as many people as I could that would want to know about Eddie’s condition. The first two being Eddie’s friends whom I knew the number to, Phe and Aaron. Then the next few being my own friends Jessica, Charlene, Chris, and John.

By the time I made the first wave of calls and washed myself up, it was past the time I needed to go into work (9:20am). So, I got dressed and proceeded to walk over to my office. One of my two supervisors was in and the other was working from home. I wanted to tell them my situation in person as much as possible, so I set up a meeting immediately after our manager had arrived. The meeting was brief, but I was told not to be concerned about sorting out my time off and take care of my family first. Very understanding people, and I truly appreciated it.

Once I got home, I proceeded to pack my suitcase with occassional break downs here and there. But around 10:30am, I was called by the hospital to be patched into a conference call between my family and the doctors. The explanation was the same as it had been the past few weeks, “Eddie’s very ill”. Determination of an exact date (probably partially due to liability issues) was impossible, but it was apparent it wouldn’t be long. The doctors said they will continue to do all they can for him, but once the point of “all they can do” arrives, it will be up to my family and I to decide on the next steps. There wasn’t much left to be said and so the call ended.

When I finally finished packing, John was downstairs waiting to drive me to the airport. Along the way I made some additional calls to family letting them know about the situation. Thanks for the ride John. I think it was a lot more comforting for me to know that a friend was driving me to the airport rather than some random cab driver.

The wait at the airport was numbing. I sat in the terminal anticipating whether or not I would be able to get a seat. When I was finally called I boarded the plane and sat back as I grueled over my sinus headed that was imposed by the air pressure and my cold. The plane finally landed in Logan at 5:00pm EST.

Arriving at the hospital, I quickly went to Eddie’s room in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU). It was the same room I left him in last week, and the same area which I had seen him in a couple of times prior in the last six months. I never wept those times, but knowing what I knew now, even with a good amount of his friends around I couldn’t hold it in any longer as I held Eddie’s hands and looked into his eyes. I composed myself as quickly as I could and told him, “I love you.”

The room was getting fairly stuffy with all the people in there, so I went out to the waiting area. Some more of Eddie’s friends were out there and we, along with my oldest brother, proceeded to talk about Eddie and ask his friends questions that only friends would know. We had a good amount of laughs, which was very therapeutic for us all.

People started to leave around 9:30pm EST and my oldest brother and I decided to spend the night. Relieving my mom of her nightly shifts that she has been doing for about two weeks straight. I only had two chairs to support me, but it was comoforting to know Eddie was right beside me. It reminded me of when we were just little kids and whenever I got scared, I’d jump into bed with him and cover my head under the covers.

For those of you who are reading this, please continue to truly pray for Eddie. At times, it feels pointless, but miracles happen everyday as Chris told me. And the power of prayer, no matter who/what you believe in, is a force that no one can comprehend nor fight against.

On my closing note. Spend as much time as you can with your family and loved ones. Never take these moments for granted. Though some of you may take my words to heart and actively show your love to your loved ones after reading my story, the intensity of your outwardly projected love will probably fade down the road. This is common, but do your best not to let it fade.

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