My Mother, Jane, was a very kind and caring person. She would always help others as well. She was a teacher at Broadmoore Technical school. While she was working there she started a program for gifted students as well. She even stopped teaching and took the time to homeschool me, her daughter. I have several disabilities as well as learning disabilities as well. So Jane knew that she needed to take me out of school and homeschool me. She would also help other childeren with disabilities. She eventually got Ovarian Cancer stage three by the time she found a replacement doctor. Jane had a very long and hard struggle with this Cancer. She would be able to go out one day a week for about an hour, then the next week she would spend all of it in bed, due to the chemo therapy. She was a fighter of course and promised my dad and I that she wouldn't die in the house or around us. Jane eventually went into a comma, after being in and out of the hospital lots of times. Several weeks/or months later my dad decided to put her in a nursing home. She passed away a day later. Jane got the Cancer when I was in the sixth grade, she didn't pass away until I was in the eight grade. On October, 2, 2003. She was loved by all who met her and always will be loved by others as well. I turn 21 on November 11th of this year, and it won't be the same without her here for my Birthday. But there is not a day that doesn't go by that I don't think of her and wish she was here for my lifes big moments.
I went to My Mom's grave a few weeks ago, for the first time in almost a year!! It felt great to finally get to go there with my Dad. It felt great because I think it helped my Dad and I become closer about the fact that Mom died!! I'm glad that you went with me Dad!! Thanks. Also the real reason we where there was because my Dad's Mom, my Grandma, died on my Dad's birthday!! We where having the family ceremony for her!! She will be greatly missed by all who knew her!! Just thought I would Announce that to everyone!!
A Journal Entry
by Andi Loeb
posted on Tue, 10/7/14, 3:36 AM
Dear mom,
Mom i really miss you and wish you where here now. I wish you a happy birthday as well. I love you so very much. I just got back from new york with dad, carolyn and her family. It was really fun i wish i could go back and visit some more now i miss everyone. Lyle got a new job now at the cheveron gas station. I am really proud of him. I really hope i will be able to see you again someday in heaven because i need you then and now more than ever. I love you and will write you again later.
A Journal Entry
by Andi Loeb
posted on Fri, 4/11/14, 9:41 PM
Dear Mom,
I know its been a while since I last messaged you, but I am doing it now so that's all that matters. I think you would be proud of me because I finally excepted god and Jesus into my life. Lyle and I have started pre-marital counseling and Pastor Ben, who was doing the session with us, finally got me to except Jesus. The marriage counseling is going good. Lyle and I are finding out things about god/Jesus and are selves that are very important and helpful. I also think about you all the time and miss you all the time as well. Lyle and I now live in Napa California again. It is good so far but I would much rather live in Modesto with my sister and niece Clarrissa because I miss them. Anyways, I am going to go now but I love you and always will. Bye for now.
Love, Andi
A Note to Jane
by Andi Loeb
posted on Tue, 12/3/13, 2:55 AM
Dear mom,
hi mom! sorry if its been a while since i wrote you on here. i just wanted to tell you everything since i ladt talked to uou here. as you should now know grandma bonnie loeb died and is in heaven with you now. please take good care of grandma for dad and i. tell her that dad and i and every one misses her greatly please. i love you very much still to this day. i still do struggle with your passing on my birthday,your birthday, christmas, and really any holiday and really more so on mothers day. its been hard without you to continue to help me and guide me. also i am still with my boyfriend lyle and have been for three years now. we now live in a trailer at a trailer park... i know that doesnt make you happy as far as i know... but we are doing what we need to do until lyle can get a job and help out more than just with unemployment. which should be soon hopefully. i just want to tell you that i cry alot more now and when i do and dont know what its about i cry up at the sky asking god why he took you from dad and i? i still wonder to this day if i had made you stop and let me stay home with you could i have helped save you? i guess i will never know. i love you so very much! goodbye for now.
A Note to Jane
by Andi Loeb
posted on Thu, 9/15/11, 1:02 PM
Dear Mom,
I thought I would start by telling you that I LOVE you soooo super much and miss you everyday as well. But that I also had a nightmear about you again. I havent had one of those since I lived in Kansas as far as I remember. I just wanted to tell you that in the nightmear you had a knife and poked it at my ear and then told me not to tell Dr. Mcdonald or anyone. Then I told on you anyways because I was scared. I woke up from it this morning scared and crying and had to call Dad. I know its not real and was just a nightmear. I also know you would never have done that at all. My boyfriend, Lyle, has a theory that the pain I felt from the knife might symbolize the emotional hurt I feel from you passing away. Even though one was physical pain it still might really be standing for the emotional pain. I like that answer alot better then the fear I was feeling. I didnt think I would have a nighmear about you almost ever again. Anyways, Im sorry to have ruined your day if I did with any nightmears I had about you. You know and I know that I loved you and still do love you very much. I always will in fact love you no matter what. Boy how I wish you where here pretty much everyday of my life. That way things would be so much easier/better for me, at least things would feel better. Anyways, I miss you soooo much. I love you as well.
A Note to Jane
by Andi Loeb
posted on Fri, 9/2/11, 3:33 PM
Dear Mom,
Hi mom. I was just writing because its been a while since I have talked to you last, and because I miss you as well. Right now my boyfriend, Lyle, and I are in Seattle Washington for his sisters wedding. So far things are going great and I am enjoying myself and the time with Lyle and his family. Lyle's sister is so beautifull in her wedding dress, and her husbund to be is really sweet as well. From talking to Jeff, Dad, he seems to be doing great as well. He is still teaching at Pembrokehill. But of course he is planning on retiering at somepoint soon. Also I am doing good as well. I am planning on volunteering soon hopefully at the local Napa animal shelter. It would be kind of like a steping stone to a real job. Also Lyle got a job at Walmart from 4:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. He is unloading pallets in the back and also unloading the trucks that come in as well. anyways, I just also wanted to say I really, really miss you as well. I wish you where here because doing things on my own is harder than I thought it would be. But at least I'm doing what it takes to survive and make it in life. anyways, I will write again soon. I love you soooo super much and wish you where here every day.
A Journal Entry
by Andi Loeb
posted on Fri, 2/25/11, 2:49 PM
Mom,
I know its been a while since I have actually talked to you on here or at all... As I write this I am starting to feel sad and also lonely because I dont have you here with me anymore... Even though I may have a new boyfriend now, who is really awesome and great and perfect for me, it still doesnt replace the hole in my heart/body, that I had thought had almost heeled... Not heeled completly but fixed up enough that I could return to life somewhat more stable than when you died... I wish every day that you where here... But you cant be, so instead you are watching me from above, you are also sending love and happyness torwards me... As in you are the reason that I have lyle in my life, as well as Kim, Sarah C. and others... And I want to say thank you for that as well... I miss you so much and hope every day that someday I will be able to see you again weather it's in heaven or on Earth... You where one of the best things that I remember about my life... I now live every day because you gave me the streangth to want to live now and somewhat again... I love you so super much and miss you every day...
