Michael is my brother. I don't think the fact that he's gone changes that. I can't say he "was" my brother because no matter where he is, he is still my brother. I didn't see him daily, or even very often, but I miss him. I can see him in my mind's eye, and sometimes I can hear the cadence of his voice, like when he left me a voice mail message -- "this is Michael Eeckhout" as if I might not know who it was. It always made me laugh. He was an unusual man. Very quiet, yet very intense. I'm pleased to know how much he was appreciated by the people he knew. They really liked him an awful lot, which makes me happy. I am especially sad about the hole his passing leaves in the lives of our parents. He was very special and important to them. No matter how hard the rest of us try, nothing can fill that hole. I wish they didn't have to feel that pain.
One of my favorite memories is the year Mike and I attended college together. He's 4 years younger than I am, so we didn't do a lot together, or share the same friends. I didn't get started in college until my 20s, a few years later than my peers. I only had a year under my belt when Mike got out of the Air Force and decided he wanted to go to college, too. I was able to show him how to get started and we took a couple of classes together. We both enjoyed the physics class. He had to help me with calculus. After that first year, he had learned the ropes and went on to get his degree in computer science. I had to cut back to part-time, so we didn't spend time together on campus after his first year, but I was glad that we had that time together. I appreciated that we were both adults and not just bickering siblings.