mY DAD WAS THE GREATEST MAN I HAVE EVER KNOWN. hE ALWAYS KNEW WHAT TO SAY TO MAKE ME LAUGH WHEN I WAS FEELING DOWN. wATCHING HIM SLOWLY SLIP AWAY FROM ME WAS THE HARDEST THINGS I EVER HAD TO DO. i COULDNT MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER LIKE HE ALWAYS DID FOR ME. i MISS HIM SO MUCH. i HAVE THE FACT THAT I AM STARTING TO FORGET SOME OF THE THINGS THAT MADE HIM, HIM. sOMETIMES I FIND MYSELF WANTING TO TALK TO HIM, THEN I REMEMBER THAT HE IS GONE AND I LOSE HIM ALL OVER AGAIN. oNE THING THAT GIVES ME COMFORT IS KNOWING THAT HE WAITED FOR ME BEFORE HE LEFT. bUT THERE IS ALWAYS DOUBT IN MY HEART. i THINK TO MYSELF THAT MAYBE IF I HAD WALKED INTO THE ROOM A FEW MINUTES SOONER I COULD HAVE SAVED HIM. bUT COULD I? i LOVE YOU dAD
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Every summer when i would get out of school, my dad would drive down from Vt to get me. I always looked forward to the summer. It was the one time of year i got to see him. Usually toward the end of the summer we would plan a trip to Lake George. I loved it there. We would go to the Great Escape and play putt putt, He wouldnt ride anything but the Raging River. We would ride it a few times. Now that summer is here, it brings up all that stuff. Grilling out with the family on the 4th, swimming, picking berries, just i guess everything we used to do. I miss my sisters too. We had gotten so close there when my Dad got sick. I miss everything that summer brought. My Dad brought. Family.
I remember one year i decided to surprise my Dad and go up for a visit. I would call to check in and the girls would say it was one of their friends going on vacation. You know just in case he saw the caller id. I remember being kinda scared. It was the first time i had traveled by myself. But it was fun. My brother Chris came and got me from the bus station. When we got to the house, i came in and sat down in his chair. He came out of the bathroom, saw me and said " i knew you were coming". He had the biggest smile on his face.
Sometimes i forget you're gone. I'll catch myself wondering what you are doing. I think back to the time we spent together. I try to remember the good, but there in the corner of my mind you pop up. Sitting there knees to chest. Your head is bent down. With only the glimmer of white showing in your eyes. The stranger that seemed to consume you with the sickness. I could still see you in your eyes. Once filled with laughter, now sadness. I wish i could have taken away your pain. Even for a moment. Its hard to keep the images of your last months out of my head. I try to chase them away with all the good times. I still remember walking into the room when you slipped away. It feels like yesterday. I can still hear your laughter in the back of my mind. The sound of your voice. Fading with time. Looking back i wish i would have had the strength to take your pain away. To hold on to you so tight that not even God could have pulled you from my grasp. Looking back i would have done a lot of things different. But having you as a Dad i wouldnt have traded for the world!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*Love you Dad, miss you everyday~*~*~*~*~
i REMEMBER ONE SUMMER, ME AND MY DAD WENT FOR A RIDE DOWN TO THE BAY. hE WAS TELLING ME A STORY ABOUT HOW THE BAY USED TO HAVE A BEACH. wHEN HE WAS YOUNGER HE USED TO RIDE HIS BIKE A LONG IT. i LOVED GOING FOR RIDES WITH HIM. wE DIDNT HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING.